Every month, this creative project, in some ways, makes me a beginner again. This month, being a beginner at crochet made me frustrated. I’ll be honest, I have not picked up any creative project that is completely new or foreign to me. I did embroidery, which I hadn’t really tried before. But I did learn basic stitches from my aunt when I was young and I did cross stitch occasionally over the years. Video-last month- was not a big success, but I also have been doing videos for my youtube project for over a year. NANOWRIMO is writing and I have been writing off and on for myself for decades. This month, crochet is a project I grew up adjacent to. My mother crocheted. My neighbors crocheted. Didn’t everyone have the crocheted blankets in 70s brown, yellow, and orange laying around the house? I know all of my neighbors did. They also seemed to have the ones that were throws that were patches of crochet webbed together and not one complete blanket. Instead, it was hundreds off circles connected leaving gaps where cold air would come in. Despite all of that crocheting around me, I never had a crocheted hat or scarf or set of mittens in the winter.

I tried to learn to crochet once. When I was 16 and pregnant. But after a few attempts I was frustrated and really though sitting still for hours to finish it was too boring. At the beginning of this month when I started, I was frustrated. I watched multiple videos trying to find the best one to help me figure out how to hold the crochet hook and how to make it work. I started and restarted at least 5 times. And finally I started to get the hang of the basic stitch. And I’ve made a scarf so far. It’s kind of small, like a scarf for a 9 year old. But I finished it.

Being a beginner again is hard. And to do it repeatedly month after month is definitely a different experience. I’ve been wondering what 6 months of starting over translates into over time. Will I be more flexible? More confident? Or will I just get tired of it? Perhaps I find myself more sure of what I like and don’t like. One thing I find that I do like, is that I do like alternating storytelling projects with hands on crafts. For example, I did NANOWRIMO followed by embroidery. And with crafts, I like having a useful finished product. For example, I like having an embroidered dish towel that you can actually use. I really want to do pottery but it’s a challenge to find a pottery class that is for one month or even single lessons. They are usually 8 week courses.

When is the last time you were a beginner?