mental-health – The Next 38

Small Joys

March 25, 2026April 7, 2026Posted in travelTagged happiness, life, mental-healthLeave a comment

I’ve been thinking a lot about happiness lately. Well, honestly, I’ve thought about happiness my whole life. Ice wanted to work out how to feel happy despite*things.* Despite having a difficult family of origin. Despite estrangement. Despite the stress of caregiving. Despite the economy. And now, despite the overwhelming everything we seem to be experiencing. The Emperor has no clothes and all of that.

But throughout all of these things, I’ve looked for how a person finds happiness. I’ve wondered what happiness is and what it isn’t. And over all of the years, I’ve learned the difference between bored, restless, wanting something different, and unhappy. Most of the first 19-20 years of my life were unhappy. Much of my adult life was learning how to be happy despite the start I had and despite things not being perfect.

And these days, I find myself quite content with my personal life. My little joys. My people. These days, I would describe myself as happy. But worried about the future for us all. And I wonder whether I can be happy while being very worried, anxious even, about the world around us? Should I feel happiness in the face of suffering that seems to have no end? Can I be both happy and sad about the state of things? And it seems that I can and do feel both. Happy while anxious. I still feel joy day to day while also being sad about the world.

Some days I watch the news and feel so sad or so angry. I watch The Pitt on HBO and think healthcare is so messed up still. I read about the loss of forests, species, and environmental protections, and I am mad. I see the suffering here and far away. But when I get up and drive to my little volunteer activities and talk to others, I have optimism. I have solidarity. I feel hopeful. I plant seeds and eat lunch in my backyard. And I order my little Star Trek DVDs and make tea to watch PBS murder mysteries with my husband, I feel content at that moment.

We cry. We dance. We laugh. We try again.

Burning Man

September 15, 2020Posted in travelTagged America, life plans, mental-health, pandemicLeave a comment

Wow, this year continues to crush us. The west coast is on fire. We left home because the fires in the mountains were causing so much smoke I couldn’t sleep. The other morning my husband woke up next me in a hotel room in a pandemic 90 minutes from home and he was stressed. He turned to me and said what if all these fires mean we can’t sell our house?

I don’t know. I really don’t know. I mean, we’ve been saying things are getting worse for years but we haven’t been able to understand what getting worse looks like on an individual scale. We’ve been a bit protected in our careers and our privilege. These things that are happening are a constant back drop of dispair and now personal impacts that show up in ways we don’t always expect. On a macro level, you say of course the west coast is on fire. Of course this administration has failed us in a pandemic. But then you find yourself trying to book a hotel in a not crowded place to work from during a pandemic with better air quality without spending too much money and you think- what the fuck is this life?

Hey, I get it. I am lucky. Lucky I have a job. Lucky I had $600 to spend on a hotel for 3 nights by the ocean. Lucky I have a car. Lucky I am not sick. But some days lucky doesn’t feel so fabulous. And I can’t help but wonder, how did people survive WWII? How did people rebuild Japan after the bombing of Hiroshima? How about Vietnam after the US pulled out? I think a history of terrible things and wonder how do people recover mentally, spiritually, and emotionally?

But then when I think about that, I feel like I’d rather bury my head in good fiction or mindless television or play music loudly. Maybe that’s how people survive. Maybe other people’s art is literally how people survive. I wish I could say my faith is carrying me through. But it’s not. It’s me going through the motions. It’s me wondering how faith matters in the face of climate change, pandemics, racism, and willful ignorance.

But that’s just part of today. Today I also went through boxes of slides, photos, developed negatives, and old camera equipment with my husband. We made piles to keep or not keep. I’m taking Teddy to the vet so all of his shots are in order for a move. I am continuing on as if things will continue on. And that’s how we are getting through another day.

Self Care Saturdays

May 15, 2018May 16, 2018Posted in mental health, self-care, UncategorizedTagged mental-health, self-care3 Comments

When I was planning my transition out of my weekend job, I started thinking about taking some time for myself. It was something I started calling self care Saturday. I usually left for work at 0540 in the mornings on Saturday and finished up at three in the afternoon. I realized I was pretty tired on the weekends. Most days, I took a 15 minute nap when I got home.

But when I found another job during the week, I was able to plan leaving my weekend job. At the same time I had been thinking about how I needed to take care of myself. On a weekend that my daughter was home from college, she and I got some face masks to do one Saturday. I also bought some tea treat oil and started doing a foot soak on Saturdays. Sitting in my back yard for 15 minutes with my feet soaking in warm water with the smell of tea tree oil is really relaxing.

I have also started a exercise routine with my running buddy, Teddy. I drag myself out because I know it makes me feel better. It helps my mood. And I know there is tons of evidence that exercise is beneficial for your mood, but sometimes I really forget how true it is.

I really want to continue this kind of self care into my 40s. I’d like to do more things to honor myself and my time instead of watching TV or scrolling through the internet. What are you doing for self care? Do you have a routine?